SNAKE!

A couple months ago i was sitin on the edge of a pond on my family's farm (like a little hillbilly) with my bare feet in the water talkin on the phone. It was a sunny day, perfect weather, nice breeze, and good conversation. As i was very intensely listening to the girl on the other line i felt a slight "brush" across my foot. I casually looked down, thinking it was a piece of, you know, pond grass. But when i looked down at my foot it was not pond grass at all... it was a GIANT SNAKE! I somehow all at once (while siting down) jumped ten feet back from the edge of the pond, yelled SNAKE, and had a mini stroke. I basically started hyperventilating when i landed from the air and freaked out. My poor friend didnt have a clue what hapeened to me, all she heard was AHHHH!!! SNAKE!!!! GASP GASP!!!! OMG!!!! When i finally calmed down enough to breath, i heard HANNAH ARE YOU OKAY?!?! DID YOU GET BIT?!?! WHAT HAPPENED?!?! I slowly studdered (through my gasps) it it it IT TOUCHED MY FOOT! She started laughing, i went inside, and it was all good... until tonight. I went for a run up my 1/2 mile driveway and was heading back, right as it was getting dark. I was listening to music (not paying any attention) when i just happened to glance at the road right as i stomped my foot down probably an inch away from the head of, what else, a snake. But no, this snake meet was worse than the first. The evil little disgusting snake leaped up and snapped at my foot! It hit my shoe, i screamed and ran away only to discover, when i had got a safe distance away from satan that i indeed, had peed my pants. I didnt know whether to laugh, cry, or be horribly ashamed. I pretty much lived the first snake meet over again, but this time with much more laughter! I can find the humor in almost anything, and i promise that theres not a day that goes by that i dont laugh at myself about SOMETHING. I called my friend (same one from the first meet) and DUH she laughed her head off at me! I was not ashamed until i got back to my house and then realized, wow.. this is embarassing! I snuck through my house and went right to the shower. I decided i am never running in the dark again, never getting a pet snake, and NEVER telling my family about this incedent!